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Jan
30
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Adolf Hitler Alive and Flying a UFO in Texas
Adolf Hitler, a German dictator from 1934 to 1945, was spotted at the helm of an enormous flying saucer hovering over southern Texas this week. The appearance of the dictator surprised many, since he has not been seen since 1945 in a bunker during World War II, where he purportedly took his own life. History is being remade in the Texas atmosphere, and Inebriated reporter Mickey Spillane is there and reporting.
“Locals here in Smalltown Texas recognized Hitler through the window of a glowing orb hovering in space about the size of either a huge Chevy SUV or a Toyota Hybrid, depending upon which car salesman you’re talking to,” said Inebriated reporter Spillane, looking slim and fit, having cut down on trans fats and alcohol following his death in 2006. “Eye witnesses say Hitler was a little green looking but was still wearing the old swastika arm band, had the ugly patch-mustache and looked psycho. Sounds like the guy alright.”