Put-Downs…
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

I like long walks, especially when taken by people who annoy me.

Guys have feelings too. But, like, who cares?

Not the brightest crayon in the box, now are we?

I was going to be a police officer, but I decided to finish high school instead.

You’ll never have a nervous breakdown, but you sure are a carrier!

I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

Politics…
Don’t tell my mother that I am in Politics – she still thinks I am a piano player in a Bordello.

I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless of course I want to stay employed.

Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are that good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats.

Quotes…
Be brief, be sincere, be seated.
-F.D.R.

Should I marry W.? Not if she won’t tell me the other letters in her name. (from Without
Feathers) – Woody Allen (1935-____) –American humorist, director, actor, author

Every exit is an entry somewhere else. – Tom Stoppard

Religious…
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
- Gandhi

Words of Wisdom…
Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Relationships…
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. – Jim Backus

Good men are like Martians, you hear a lot about them but you never actually see one.

Legal Shmegal…
Council for the defence was prepared to prove: 1) He shot in self defence, 2) The police did it
and stuck the gun in his hand, and 3) He was 100 miles away when it happened.

One-Liners…
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Love…
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Work…
If you live life right, death is a joke as far as fear is concerned.

If walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the Hut?

By: Marc Entz

Once you have found a women that you like, remembering these simple tips will help you impress her and you will both have a great time on your first date. Hopefully with many more to follow.

If you decide to ask this special women out for an evening with you, ask her when you both are alone. Never ask a girl out on a date in front of others, like her friends. This will either embarrass her, and may say yes or embarrass you, if she says no.

If you want advice on how to get the most out of online dating services get this free eBook that covers the benefits and the downsides of meeting girls via the internet. You can download a free copy of “Online Dating Secrets“.

Here is a list of what to do on your date to inpress your lady:

Look good, be neat. Put extra effort to the way you look. Take the time be well groomed, smell nice and choose your clothes well. It must correspond to the place with which your date is set. Make a good impression, so you can charm her and she can be proud of you.

Do not be late. Prepare for the big day ahead. Make the necessary reservations and planning for your date. If you have planned for it, she will be impressed that you did put some effort on your night together. Be sure that during the “big day” you have no appointments so you won’t be cramming and be on time.

Be polite. Be sure to make her feel good by complementing the way she looks. And when seated at the table, turn your cell phone off. This will signal to her that you are very much interested in your moment together.

Say her name. Make it a point to say her name ever so often in your conversations, to make her feel at ease and special.

Smile. Aside from putting up a positive attitude, your smile is an indication that you are happy to be with her.

Have a Sense of Humor. Making a woman laugh means you have won half your battle. This means that she is having a nice time and creates a positive atmosphere. This will be an occasion she would remember, because she had fun!

Be attentive. Listen to what she has to say or is saying, do not interrupt. Let her finish, before you state your opinion and make eye contact.

Relax. Do not worry that your date is not having a good time. Go ahead and ask her. Just manage yourself well and enjoy the evening. Keep the conversations open and ask questions. Be sincere.

Enjoy. Dating should be exciting and relaxing. A woman could sense if you are enjoying or not. Don’t stress yourself trying so hard to make it “The Perfect Date” because it won’t be. But you both can enjoy it. After all, you did invite her out because you liked her in the first place. Be spontaneous and have fun.

About the author: Download a free copy of “Online Dating Secrets” by Jack Rivers before you start using online dating services and increase your odds of finding your perfect match.

By: Marc Entz

It can be difficult to be a woman in the dating arena. A lot of things can go wrong for you more than it can for your male counterpart. Plus, men can be really dense about a few things. Well, no worries. Here are a few tips on what to do and not to do during a date. And if you find that you need more dating advice you can download a free eBook on the subject of dating advice for singles at InterMarkets Publications.

1. Timing is important – Timing as in ‘on time’. No matter what they say, there is no such thing as ‘fashionably late’. For the first date, this can give the guy jitters and make him think that you’ve stood him up. For the later dates, having him wait for you in the living room for half an hour with either your roommate, your sister or, worse, your father is not something you want him to do – whether it be for the embarrassing stories or Dad’s ‘eyes of doom’.

2. Be nice – Have a positive attitude, find things that you like and tell him. Compliment him about his clothes, how he looks and how well the date is going. It puts him at ease and also makes him feel important. It also shows him that you’re taking notice of him and you appreciate him.

But, don’t lie. Like I said, look at the bright side of things – the service of the restaurant may have been slow but the ambience was terrific. Try making it into a habit, you aren’t lying – you’re just being diplomatic!

3. Do not complain – This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t tell him that something is wrong or something makes you uncomfortable. The way you phrase it and the tone you use is important here. ‘Venting’ will not going to go over well with him because he’ll probably misinterpret it. Grin and bear it then tell him after the date in calm, reasoned tones your problem. Trust me, he’ll understand and he’ll try to make it up to you.

4. Enjoy the date – A date is a chance to get to know each other and to enjoy yourselves. Have fun during the date. Try not to be hyper-critical and just take things in stride. If you’re not having fun, your date will notice and, trust me, he will get nervous which will probably start ruining the experience for both of you.

Also, just let your guard down for a little while. Let him see the real you. He may or may not like it, but in the end he will appreciate the honesty of the act. Besides, if he doesn’t like you for you, why should you keep on dating?

5. Afterwards, show interest – If you really like the guy, waiting for the call after a successful date is nerve-wracking. Try giving him a day or two. He usually has to get his act together and work up the courage to call. If he doesn’t call, he’s probably still tongue-tied from being in your presence. Call him up to say hello. Talk about the date and how you had fun and give hints. He will pick up on it and he’ll probably be asking you for another date!

Well, there are five tips for dating success. Hopefully, this dating advice could help lead you through today’s tough tangle of relationships. Happy hunting!

About the author: For advice on dating for singles using online dating services you can download a free copy of “Online Dating Secrets” by Jack Rivers here: InterMarkets Publications.

By: Chris Dowgin

Now every one has heard the familiar story about a princess that is imprisoned in a cave by some monstrous fire breathing dragon. Now the Dragon sits guard over her as its body is coiled around and on top of huge pile of gold and treasure. So what does this have to do with anything, even though it is a famous scenario that appears all around the world from Greek mythology to the Hobbit. I know there is no Princess in the Hobbit, but that is besides the point. The point is, who is the hero who saves her. In fact what makes her so damn special that you might want to actually save some aquatic water tart any how? Well the hero is yourself and that amphibian is the part of your brain you lopped off years ago!

Well not figuratively, or is that not literally, any how it is the instincts you were born with to think for your self. Now Nietzsche spoke about a great dragon covered in a billion scales, all blazoned with the words “Thou Shalt”. Transactional Psychology describes this with these phrases;

“Don’t be (don’t exist), Don’t be who you are, Don’t be a child, Don’t grow up, Don’t make it in your life, Don’t do anything!, Don’t be important, Don’t belong, Don’t be close, Don’t be well (don’t be sane!), Don’t think, Don’t feel.

In addition there is the so-called episcript, Read the rest of this entry »